I woke from a sound sleep not knowing exactly why, but with images of warm blue waters rushing towards me; I rolled out of bed — I think I was trying to escape the big wave that was about to engulf me in my dream — and as I was rolling I became aware of what had awoken me. I’m sure I made some sort of startled sound as I tried to get my feet beneath me without letting the water get on the bed or carpet — I was mostly successful — on my way to the bathroom, which had never seemed farther away. . . . I made it to the toilet, just barely, before the water started gushing in earnest. I heard Clint say “so this is it?” and had to respond “it has to be!” I was elated, but also a bit scared/nervous at the same time. I wondered if I really was as ready as I’d been saying I was, and if I was going to be able to handle this labor as well as I’d handled the previous ones; everything else about this pregnancy and pre-labor had been different from what I’d expected, so for just a couple of minutes I was in a state of almost-panic. After a few deep breaths I felt a bit more sure of myself, and started thinking about what we needed to do to get ready.

The next couple of hours were spent making calls to Becky (the midwife on call), Del and Colleen (who we didn’t get hold of until after we got to the birthing center), and Kelsey (who was going to come take pictures for us), and getting things together to take with us. We finally headed in to the Birthing Center around 4:45 after getting a call from Kelsey, at 4:30, saying “I’m already here!” (She was too excited to stay home and wait — we loved that!)

The birth assistant on call (whose name, embarrassingly, neither Clint nor I can recall) met us at the door. Becky checked me to see how things were progressing; I was 3 -4 cm and about 70% effaced. (I’d been hoping that I’d gotten farther than that, but was pretty happy that at least there was something happening!) We went upstairs to settle in, and after chatting for a few minutes, I decided that I was going to try to get some rest while I still had the chance.

I laid down on the bed while everyone else chatted. I didn’t think I’d want any music, but Clint had brought some anyway, just in case, and I’m glad he did. He put on Mindy Smith (her first one) and it was exactly what I needed. (After her I think he put on Dire Straits’ On Every Street, which I love, but it wasn’t what I needed. I needed Mindy, so he put her back on.) I believe Becky went downstairs, but I wasn’t paying attention to much at this point. Clint tried to help me relax through some contractions, but they were easy enough that it was more like practice, so I just closed my eyes and rested.

After awhile, they checked me again and I hadn’t really made any progress. The birth assistant suggested that we head outside to take a walk, but I wasn’t feeling quite ready for that yet; I told her maybe in a few minutes. I was starting to feel a bit down about the lack of progress but, at the same time, I was happy that I hadn’t gotten anything too tough to handle yet.

Around 8:45 or so, I told Clint that I wanted to try walking a bit, but I didn’t want to go all the way downstairs and outside; I just wanted to walk around upstairs and see how that felt. We barely made it across the hall before a contraction hit. I decided that outside was much too far away and I wanted to head back to our room; I was feeling terribly nervous for some reason, and the room seemed to be a safe zone. We got back to the doorway and Clint asked if I wanted to try the birthing ball; I told him “after this contraction,” because I could already feel another one starting, this time strong enough to stop me in my tracks. He stroked my back through the contraction, then got the birthing ball for me and placed it at the foot of the bed. I barely managed to climb on it before the next contraction started — and it was a big one.

I remember gripping the footrail on the bed, and I remember moaning. Clint tells me that my arms were shaking, and Becky said that she and the birth assistant heard me from downstairs. That contraction faded and the next one started almost immediately; I remember thinking, “here we go!”

The birth assistant said that she thought Becky should check me and took off like a shot to go fetch her. Somehow, I made it to the side of the bed, and managed to climb up between contractions. Becky tried to check in between, but the contractions were close enough that one started before she was finished. She told me I was six centimeters, and I said “can I PLEASE get in the water now?” Becky was afraid the water might slow down my labor, but at this point I really didn’t care — I wanted the water, and I wanted it now!

I slid off the bed and worked my way to the tub between contractions, leaning on the side when I got there, to wait for one to pass. I climbed in, with a bit of help, and sank, moaning, into the hot water. I started to relax, but before I could even get completely below the water ANOTHER contraction started, and then another. They were right on top of each other now, and I could feel the baby coming down. (So much for the water slowing things down!) There was enough pressure, and it was happening so quickly, that I was afraid to relax and open my knees. I was starting to panic, and I could feel myself tensing up. I tried to force myself to relax my lower body, and told Clint “I don’t think I can do this.” “I know this must be transition, if I’m feeling this way, but it’s happening so fast! I was JUST six centimeters!”

And then I felt like I needed to push! I was still panicking, trying to let myself believe that it could possibly be happening this quickly, and I said aloud, “I think I’m pushing!” Becky said, “that’s because you are.” So calmly, so matter-of-factly, she said it, that it started sinking in that it was OKAY for it to be so fast. If Becky wasn’t upset, why should I be?

I managed to relax just a bit more, and shifted my position a bit so I could plant my feet. I couldn’t move much, because I didn’t have much time in between, and I didn’t want to move during. . . . I don’t know for sure how long or how many times I pushed, but I DO know that with EVERY push I could feel the baby moving. I actually felt when her head made the final turn to head out — it was a very squirmy sort of feeling. . . .

I remember Clint being there and wiping my face, stroking my back, keeping my hair out of my face for me, and saying encouraging things. . . .

It seems like it was only a handful of pushes before I was saying “oh my gosh, it’s too fast! I think she’s crowning!” Someone said “she is!” “Do you want to touch her head?” At that point, I couldn’t; I felt like if I let go of the side of the tub, I might just lose it. . . . Another push and I managed to let go long enough to touch her head very briefly, then I had to grab the tub again. I pushed another time or two and felt the burning start. Me to Clint: “remember when I said this doesn’t hurt much? I was wrong!” He reminded me to push through it, and I did. The burning stopped and I heard excited voices, “there’s her head! her head is out!” “Here come the shoulders!” As I pushed again, I felt her slither out and it was all over.

I remember pulling her up to my tummy and showing her to Clint; I remember looking at her tiny face and hands, at the impossibly tiny fingernails. . . . I know I tried to help her latch on, but I don’t remember what happened right then. Kelsey finally came back from taking Levi to school — just in time to hear Christina cry. (sucks that she missed the birth, but at least she got to see the baby!)

After a few moments, Becky asked Clint to cut the cord because they needed me to get out of the water. He cut the cord and they wrapped Christina in a towel and handed her to him. He wandered across the room and Becky and Denise, the other assistant who arrived while I was in second stage, spread plastic on the floor and then helped me out of the tub. I climbed onto the bed, with help, and pushed the placenta out there. (That’s never my favorite part of the whole childbirth process, but it sure feels better once it’s done!)

Becky and Denise got everything cleaned up, and someone got me some orange juice. Denise came to the bathroom with me to help me get cleaned up, and Clint stayed with Christina while Becky did all the weighing and measuring and cleaning her up.

Finally, the three of us made it back to the bed and we all laid down to rest for awhile.  It was a good morning. : )